The Word 9/The Word 9 (Disk 2 of 2).adf/Files_2/09-OtherNight.txt/09-OtherNight.txt

Text File | 1996-01-17 | 10KB | 221 lines

|2-The Other Night







                           By WorkBench/iNdi
                                  and
                             PeX le SeX/QuI

    It  all  began on a dark and stormy night.  The wind was howling and
the  trees were swaying, violently.  Especially as Pex walked by them at
great  speed causing there to be a very strong gravitational pull around
his waist line.  It actually looks as if it is the size of a small plnet
and  so  is  quite  capable  of producing its own gravity.  In fact I am
quite  sure  that  around  his  waist he has his own types of life form.
Anyway  lets  get  back to the point of this article.  The point of this
article is to prove exactly how sad Pex and I (WorkBench) really are.

        We  were  driving  around  fairly early on in the evening, about
10:00pm  or  so,  and we saw these two women, really nice.  You know the
sort  that  wear  hardly  anything  and  have huge tits, yeah that sort.
These  two  women  were  parading  round  Cleethorpes and they seemed to
attract  our  attention  very  quickly.  We followed them in the car (To
make  sure  they  got where they were going safely) until we saw them go
into this pub called "The Bootlegger".

        Me  and  Pex decided that we would go in and have a little drink
and  also see them a little closer up as you cannot really see that much
from  the  other  side of the road can you?  We got in the pub and found
them  quite  quickly  so  instead  of looking like the only two twats in
there  we  had to buy a couple of drinks.  This was the only way that we
could  blend in considering that we were wearing the really casual jeans
and a T-Shirt, I mean really casual.  Whilst we were having our drink we
decided  that it may be worth going home and getting changed.  We did go
home.   First of all we had to stop at Pex's house as we had to drop his
Dads  car  off.   Whilst we was here Pex had a shit, shower and a shave.
He  decided  that  he  wanted to look like a right hard b*st*rd and wear
only his trousers, and a silk shirt.  The night was F*CKING freezing and
Pex  soon realised that he had made quite a large mistake.  This did not
bother  him  at  all,  so he says.  We got to my house and I got changed
into  my lovely shirt and trousers <-- (actually his Dad's shirt, and we
all know what sort of shirts Dad's wear don't we???  - PeX), ready to go
out, again I was a fool by only wearing a thin shirt and thin trousers.

        The club that we were heading for was called "Park Lane" and you
have  to  be  over 25 to get in as well, as look smart at the same time.
This is the best part....

|1-Pex is 23



|1-WorkBench is 16!!!



        Yes  this  is  true,  I am only 16 years of age and I got into a
club  for the over 25's, how I have achieved this I do not know.  Pex on
the  other  hand  looks  about 30 anyway.  If you do not beleive me then
look  in  the  photobooth  at Pex le Sex and WorkBench.  <-- Cheers Pal,
isn't it amazing how you can suddenly go off someone - PeX.

|1-The First Drink



        Once  inside  the  first  thing  that I did was make PeX get the
first  round  in,  to start the night off good.  We began to dance after
only  one  drink  which  I personally think is quite strange considering
that I make a rule not to dance until I have had at least three or four.
You  know,  just  so  I  begin  to  feel happier about being there after
spending four quid to get in.  On the dance floor I was doing all of the
latest dance sort of stuff and because it was a club for the 25+ most of
the  songs  were quite old ones, and I did not know how to dance at all.
Mind you I cannot dance proporly anyway.  <-- Old songs my arse, the odd
abba  song  mixed  in with the latest Simply Red and M People songs, but
they  were  more  late  70's early 80's stuff than he (Wayne) is used to
going  to  crap  nightclubs  like  "JD's" or the "Pier" that are full of
14-18 year olds.  - PeX.

        The  talent  in this place was excellent, plenty to look at, but
because  Pex  is an UGLY, FAT, B*ST*RD and I am a 6 foot three inch high
human lamp post, we could not touch, well not for now anyway...

|1-The Second Drink



        The  music begins to get a little more lively towards the end of
the  night but I still could not dance at all, and as for Pex, he brings
a whole new meaning to the word ATTEMPT.  He cannot dance even if he had
a  thousand  years  of expert teaching.  <-- I can dance you know - PeX!
Finally  the  end  songs came on, all of the dead soppy ones and so with
regret me and Pex left the dance floor and sat down hoping (dreaming) of
two  beutiful  big titted blondes to come and ask us to dance.  This did
not  even come remotely close.  We left the nightclub very disheartened.
Not  that  upset  though as we got these great hats.  Blue sparkly ones,
really smart they were.  Cheap but smart.

|1-Gutted!!



        Upon  walking  up  the  street where the nightclub is we see two
very  nice  young  ladies  walking  out  of  the Pier (about a couple of
hundred  yards  away  acting  a little chemically inconvenienced (drunk)
walking  towards the taxi rank, so me and Pex decided that we would walk
behind  them  and start talking to them.  They really liked our hats and
because  one of these lasses had really ample sized tits we thought that
there  could  be no harm in giving our prize possessions away.  We asked
them  if  they  wanted  an  escort  home but were refused the privelage,
gutted  or what.  They left us with no hat just standing in the freezing
cold.   Now  we  were even more upset, that is until Pex saw another hat
laying around and so picked it up and claimed it. <-- Buzzing - PeX.

|2-Horror!







        By  now  Pex  had  begun to feel thirsty again and so we went to
this  little  chippy and he went in and got a drink.  <-- Actually I was
following these 2 birds with great legs - PeX.  We found this great seat
right  outside  the chippy and took it for ourselves.  Not for long mind
you, as it is now that horror was released out of the chippy.....

|1-Beer Monster Or What!!!!!!!!



        If you do not know what a beer monster then I will tell you.  It
is  an  unfortunate female that has the looks of the rear end of a camal
and  that  is  being  very nice.  This lass made even beer monsters look
nice,  she was bloody awful.  Not only was she hugely overweight but she
had  a  really horible voice as well.  She seemed to take a liking to me
and  PeX  on  the  other hand was enjoying the friend that was with her.
Her  friend was a considerable amount better than the BM (for Short) but
was still on the down side of looks.  <-- Worth one though - PeX.  Those
two seemed to get along quite well, which could have been seen for miles
away.  <-- I didn't realise I was such a big boy - PeX.  This BM I think
was  getting  jealous  and  grabbed  a  hold  of my hand.  I felt a cold
feeling  come  all  over  me  as  she  touched my hand.  It was a bloody
horrible  feeling.  I began to lay subtle hints about going to find me a
hat  for  me to wear as to get away from BM, but PeX being the way he is
new  that I was hating every minute with ths lass, and told me to wait a
minute.  He was rather enjoying himself, or so it seemed.

        I  finally  persuaded  him  to get up and help me try and find a
hat, but the BM was having none of that and quickly latched onto my arm.
PeX and this other lass, steamed ahead of us to look, but could not find
anything so we went to get a taxi for them.  We didn't have to wait long
for  one  at  all.   PeX thinking that this was another one of his lucky
nights (read the article about PeX and Heather) got into the cab, and me
being  a  mate  and all, sacrificed myself by also getting into the car.
What a mate I am eh?

|1-Gutted AGAIN!!!



        The first stop of the taxi was at PeX's little girlyfriend.  PeX
asked if he could go in with her and she said no and therefore went from
the cab and into her flat alone.  PeX was totally gutted and he told her
this. <-- I thought that I was in there - PeX.

|1-Second Stop......



|1-Beer Monsters House



        We  had  to get out of the cab and go up to her flat, if only to
be polite, as we could not really just go could we?  Anyway PeX wanted a
drink  of tea as he was freezing cold.  So like a pair of idiots we went
into  her  flat.   She made PeX his cup of tea, we think that is what it
was  anyway,  as  it  did not have any of the tastes of normal tea.  PeX
drank  his  tea,  and  we had to think of a quick excuse to leave rather
rapidly.  PeX came up with a smart one.  It was....

        The  car  is at WorkBench's house (Wayne's house) and we need to
get  the  car back for my Dad who has to start work at 4 in the morning.
The  BM  then  came out with the fact that no-one works on a Sunday, but
PeX quickly thought and told her that he worked in the bakery at Tescos,
as  they needed fresh bread to sell.  She fell for it and so we made our
great escape from the clutches of the BM.  <-- What do you mean "we", it
was  you  she wanted to jump up and down on, and have YOUR babies - PeX.
We  both  ran  like  hell  as  soon as we hit the street straight to the
nearest phone box so that we could call for a taxi and get home the warm
way.

|1-The Way Home



        No  BM  to  hassle me.  It was dead quiet and PeX just sat there
talking  to  the  taxi  driver.  He sat there taking the piss out of me,
saying things like:

    "Well it's all experience that you can call upon next time", or...

    "Are  you  sure that you don't want us to drop you back there as you
     may have changed your mind"? etc, what a rotten sod!!!

        I  just  sat  there and laughed along with him.  We got home and
put  on  all  the  heaters  imaginable,  just  so that we could get some
feeling  back into our toes.  It took quite a while but we had plenty of
sweets to keep us going.

        That  was  the  other night and it is one that I wish will never
ever be repeats as long as I live..... <-- Are you sure Wayne? - PeX.

End